My mild time with The Paris Novel by Another McDonald

So, I read The Paris Novel: A Romance by Anthony McDonald…

    I could honestly probably leave my thoughts at that single sentence. It was definitely a book that I read. I’m planning a post about books that once I finished reading, I really thought were just okay. The Paris Novel definitely fits into that category. So, whenever this other post comes to be, expect me to talk about this book again.

    Also, before I forget. For the video version of this post (CLICK HERE)

    So, to start off, I will say that I think McDonald was done dirty by Anchor Mill Publishing – at least for the copy of the book that I have. I won’t sugar coat it, it’s ugly. The book looks ugly. Yes, there’s a whole saying about how you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But this book has an ugly ass cover. The front cover looks like it was made in Microsoft Paint. It looks like I, and my lack of graphic design talent, could have made it. It’s… just so bad. And the back cover isn’t any better. The white text, that looks like it has just been plonked on an image, looks like it could have done with a drop shadow, just so it didn’t look so messy. Also, the blurb and Amazon Kindle reviews on the back aren’t even centred. To quote Alyssa Edwards, “Mama, this is garbage, right here.”

    As a quick separate point, you know how pages in a book are usually that yellowy colour, and have that book smell? Well, the pages in this were white, like printer paper white. I know this isn’t something that most people would think about, but given that the pages were just so stark white, and smelled like just a regular sheet of paper, I couldn’t not think about it. And, I don’t know, there’s just something I don’t like about stark white pages in a book.

    Before I actually talk about the book, I just want to mention, these points I’ve just made don’t knock the book or the story down in terms of what I thought about it – it was just some unfortunate choices on the cover and interior design of the book, and that does, unfortunately, just happen sometimes.

    Right on page one, there’s this line, “I wasn’t gay, but I was a writer.” And the context of this is that the protagonist and narrator, Peter, sees two naked men, about his age, in an apartment across the street getting ready to have sex. And like any non-gay man would do, he ends up watching them and masturbating. So, we were off a wild start. But the thing that got me about the opening section of this book was just how sternly Peter was trying to assure the reader that he was straight. And I just had to roll my eyes. It was kind of an, “Okay, if you say so,” moment. Although, the blurb on the back of the book explicitly states that a love blooms between Peter and another character, Fabrice, so obviously he’s not straight. He might not be gay, but he’s certainly not going to be totally straight.

    So, as for this ‘love story’ between Peter and Fabrice… It was definitely there in the book… It was definitely words that were on the pages. Even though it was presented as this huge thing on the blurb, when it came to the actual presentation of it, it felt lacking. When I read the affair, even though I had been told, during the book, that there was a huge build-up to it, it didn’t feel like it was all that big. The story felt like it was more about Peter’s time in Paris, rather than his affair with Fabrice. I’m not specifically complaining about this, however, because I didn’t particularly dislike having the book this way, I think I would have just been happier had the book been advertised more as Peter’s time in Paris, as opposed to the affair being the only thing of merit.

    Peter and Fabrice see each other naked for the first time halfway through the book and, I just need this to be said: If you’re going to mention a penis in a book, please just use one of the words like ‘penis’, ‘dick’, or ‘cock’. I’m saying this because this book used the word ‘sex’ in place of any of the others. And I know that ‘sex’ is a word that is used, but no one is going to judge or laugh if you use any of the three that I just mentioned. There’s no need to try and be smarter than you need to be.

    Speaking of trying to be smarter than you need to be, I felt McDonald did just that when writing this book. There were random French words and phrases sprinkled throughout the book, and, considering it’s set in Paris, you’d think that would be okay. But, like I just said, it felt, to me, like McDonald was trying to be smarter than he needed to be. There was one moment where Peter says, “I was pleased the way my French was coming back to me. I’d been considered good at it at school but it had suffered from nine years of neglect since.” So, at first, I wondered whether it was a stylistic choice to represent the fact that Peter was essentially speaking in broken French the whole time and those choice French words and phrases were ones he didn't understand. But there were simple French phrases that were included like, “C’est qui?” which, if you’ve taken any number of French classes – or even used Duolingo (like me) – you’d know what something simple like that means. So, I’m leaning more towards the inclusion of French to McDonald wanting to be smart and wanting to add a little flair to the book, rather than it being a stylistic choice.

    In terms of actual stuff happening in the book, it a takes a good few pages for anything significant to happen. That in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, lots of books do it. The novel felt like its events wanted to happen as big explosions which then simmered down until the next big explosion which, as a concept, I wasn’t mad at. I thought it worked really well. To essentially repeat my point. We got this explosion of action, we were then given time to let the aftermath settle, and when we thought we were good, another explosion came along.

  In terms of syntax and all that good stuff, there were a few moments that showed that this book could have done with one final once over. And I’ll provide quotes:

Page 42, “Your moving in.” – the wrong form of your/you’re was used. Page 56, “I really must he going.” – he was used instead of be. Page 89, there’s dialogue from a new character not on a new line. Page 121, “Don’t let’s hear the word tenant.” – I’m not sure what this sentence was trying to say, maybe, “Don’t let us”? Page 122, “…I found himself alone” – this was meant to be, “found myself alone”. Page 186, there’s just a whole speech mark missing.

    Now, these were all things I noticed on a single read through. I’ve mentioned before on this blog that I’m not the most keen-eyed reader, so I often let things slip by me unnoticed. But the fact that I found six different errors as a casual reader? Mary, it’s not looking good.

    To finish this ramble off, there were a couple depictions of gay sex that were just… not realistic. Like, this book really wanted me to believe two men were having full, penetrative sex with just one load of spit? (lmao sorry to my parents if either of you ever read this) Did all the men in this book just have tremendous swamp ass that kept them lubed at all times? Like, it’s just not realistic!

    Anyway, that was this post. Hope you enjoyed reading the phrase “tremendous swamp ass”.

    Okay, bye!