I Wish You All the Best... book of the year?

I believe that I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver is the first book that I’ve read with a non-binary lead. I’m certain I’ve read books that have non-binary characters before, but this is the first one where the protagonist is non-binary.

So, the old blurb told me that the main character, Ben de Backer, comes out to their parents as non-binary, and are then kicked out and have to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas. Then, as Ben is trying to survive senior year unnoticed, the “funny and charismatic” Nathan Allen takes Ben under his wing. The blurb is then rounded out by saying the book is a “celebration of life, friendship… and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.” And I took that to mean that there was going to be a happy, or at least a hopeful, ending to the book.

The book opens on Ben with their parents, and on the second page, there’s this little interaction with Ben and their dad, specifically. Their dad says, regarding the art club Ben is a part of, “If your grades slip, you have to quit”, and Ben replies, “Yes, sir”, and… had the blurb not already told me that Ben was going to be kicked out, I would have been worried for them regardless, but that interaction gave me the ick. I knew I wasn’t going to like Ben’s parents. Still, the first chapter comes and goes quickly, and by the beginning of the second chapter, Ben has been kicked out. I’m kind of glad that we didn’t see the full kicking out happen on paper – and I think that’s just my mentality of wanting characters to just be happy all the time talking there.

Now, from the blurb, I assumed that Hannah would take Ben in, and she did. But then Ben is hit by a wave of niceties from Hannah and Thomas, and it’s a full one-eighty (Dua Lipa tease), given that Ben was kicked out like a chapter or two prior and those niceties really had me feeling some type of way. I think it was because the book fluctuated so fast from bad to good (adjacent).

In chapter six, Ben mentions to the reader that Nathan has his head tilted like a puppy. And that, in the beginning, definitely, seemed like a really good descriptor. He gets assigned to show Ben around the school once Ben transfers. I probably should also mention that Hannah’s husband, Thomas, is a chemistry teacher at the school, too. Anyway, Ben and Nathan end up sat next to each other, so, even outside of the tour, the two of them are kind of shoved together by the world.

Anxiety plagues Ben. They’re basically haunted by their parents. They’re dealing with the conflicting emotions of being obviously upset with the fact their parents did this atrocious thing of kicking them out whilst also wrestling with the fact they still love, and miss, their parents. Parts of this manifests into panic attacks, a few of which we see within the book. Nathan helps Ben with one of them, it’s sweet.

Ben also has a whole complicated relationship with his family, because Hannah left them to get away from their parents, so there is that underlying bitterness that they can’t help, but obviously they’re also grateful, and happy, for the way that Hannah is when she takes them in. It was inevitable that towards the end of the book that Ben and Hannah would have to talk about what happened, and they do, and it’s so dramatic. That’s where I’m leaving that, because I don’t want to spoil it, but, oh my God is all I’ll say about it.

So, Ben and Nathan’s relationship gives me that, I think it’s a trope, but I don’t remember what it’s called. It’s something like the gloomy one and the sunshine one. But I don’t want to say gloomy, because Ben isn’t necessarily gloomy, more just trying to pick up the pieces of their life. Ben repeatedly mentions that Nathan seems to be nice to a fault, but I feel like Nathan’s sunshine is exactly what Ben needed. And I think, had Nathan not been so perpetually like he was, he wouldn’t have been the powerful character he was. Nathan also has a golden retriever, Ryder, which seemed… appropriate. And as a separate point, the title was a line in the book, and when the line turned up, I just had to stop for a moment. I don’t know how to say it other than: I really liked Nathan as a character, he just seemed so… Nice. And I get what Ben meant when they said he seemed nice to a fault, because he was.

Then towards the end of the book, Ben eventually decides to come out as nonbinary to Nathan. And this comes after the big explosion of action that I suppose isn’t action, more drama. The dramatics happen, I’m not going to mention what happens, because spoilers, but let me just say, I most often read laying on my stomach, and if I lay on my stomach for too long, I end up uncomfortable. And when the big dramatics happened, I didn’t want to stop reading, because occasionally I get so into a book that I’m just shut off from everything else… That’s what I got with this book, I didn’t want to stop reading, but I had to, just so my body didn’t just collapse.

Still, I don’t want to mention the big dramatic sequence of events, but I will say, they don’t revolve around Nathan. I just wanted to mention that because I feel like I’ve written this post in a way that makes Nathan seem like the central point of the book, and he’s not. The central point is Ben and their life, their identity, and how that impacts them, their parents, and the people around them – Nathan just happens to be in that sphere.

Anyway, then I finished the book, and to put it bluntly:

The bitch slapped.

I wish I hadn’t left this book on my shelf for as long as I did. It was incredible, and I can confidently say that it’s in contention for my favourite book of the year.

Okay, bye!