Coming up with titles is hard. Here is a review of Never Been Kissed!

 

Today I’m talking about Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky and I know that I found out about this book from Twitter. I remember I saw one of the authors that I follow interacting with Janovsky’s tweet actually announcing the book and that’s how I knew about it in the first place. But then it was also one of those that even though I bookmarked the announcement tweet, I forgot about the book until I saw it in a bookshop and bought it there.

The blurb says that Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. On the eve of his birthday, he sends emails to all the boys he loved before he came out and has the Oh God What Did I Do? Moment the morning after. Then Derick Haverford, Wren’s #1 pre-coming-out crush and his drive-in theatre’s intern, comes back into his life. Everyone claims he’s coasting on his good looks, but Wren has always known there’s more to Derick than meets the eye. Too bad he doesn’t feel the same way about the infamous almost-kiss that once rocked Wren’s world. Whatever. Wren’s no longer a closeted teenager; he can survive this. But as their hazy summer becomes consumed with a special project that may just save the struggling drive-in, Wren and Derick are drawn ever closer… and maybe, finally, Wren’s dream of a perfect-kiss-before-the credits is within reach.

Now, if you’re thinking that’s a lot for a blurb, that’s a slightly shortened version I gave you. Still, the one-line pitch for this book calls is a feel-good summer LGBTQIA+ new adult rom-com, so at least it gives you a vibe to go into it with. I will also say, this book does have that style of cover that I’m not personally a fan of. I’ll fully admit that I think the characters on the cover look ugly, and I say that just because I’m not a fan of the art style. It’s the same style as on some of Annabeth Albert’s books.

Chapter one opens with Wren and his friends, Avery and Mateo, at a hole in the wall gay club, and Wren is about to get kissed by a drag queen, when he turns away at the last moment. His friends basically spend the chapter telling him that he shouldn’t hold these such high standards for a first kiss. He’s also out on his 22^nd birthday. Chapter two tells us that Wren has his email folder with four unsent messages, like the blurb said, to the people he had pre-coming out feelings for, and that the drive-in theatre he works at is the reason he’s a film major. Now let me say, from personal experience, guys who are movie buffs are in fact some of the worst kinds of men. Then at the end of chapter two, he sends the four emails, one of which goes to Mateo.

Now, let me say, Wren’s first strike was when he said Lady Gaga’s best album was the A Star is Born soundtrack. Not only is he a movie buff, which was his first strike, he’s also very wrong. Still, since the blurb does mention Derick, it’s not a shock when he replies to Wren’s email and eventually mentions that he’ll be working with Wren over the summer at the drive-in theatre. Also, as a separate point, Wren mentions that he came out as gay five months ago but doesn’t know how to tell people that “queer” feels better than “gay” and feels like he can’t just come out all over again. And I will say, I appreciated that this is something that the book does actually explore, it wasn’t just a little throwaway comment, it ended up being something that ended up meaning something in the grand scheme of the characters and the book itself.

To complain about Wren for a second, however. Like I mentioned, he’s 22, but there were a couple of moments, only in the beginning of the book, that had a definite “how do you do, fellow kids?” vibe to it. On page 30, Wren mentions he went social media dark which, fair enough, people do that. I’ve been very close to people who have zero forms of social media, so I know it’s a thing. My issue was that the book verbatim says, “I don’t duck face. I don’t shirtless shot. I don’t ring-light.” Like, you want me to believe a 22-year-old would say things like that? I don’t know what it was about that bit. I think it was the wording of it, the using things that aren’t verbs as verbs. I guess duck face could be considered a verb, but, bitch, ring light and shirtless shot certainly aren’t. However, looking at the rest of the notes I made, this one specific thing is the only negative I even have about the book, so I think that says a lot.

Still, Wren is a manager at this drive-in, and he wrestles with the whole thing of he doesn’t want being manager of the drive-in to suck the fun out of the fact that his friends are also working there. It’s that toeing the line of being a friend and being a boss. I won’t spoil it, but perhaps that is something that rears its head in the book and may or may not be a source of conflict.

Unrelated to the point I’ve just made, but Wren’s second strike for me was calling Pepsi the devil’s syrup when he gets offered it instead of Coke. Maybe I’m in the minority, but Pepsi is the superior cola in my opinion. No one needs this section of the post, but I know it’s the whole thing of you can’t tell the difference, but to me, Pepsi doesn’t feel as harsh in the mouth as Coke does.

Back on track, however, that brief bit mentioned on the blurb of a project to help save the drive-in, that ends up being the main plot of the book, rather than the romance. It’s like there’s this project he takes on, and the romance is also just a convenient side plot almost. But at the same time, it’s clearly not. But this project is about wanting to hold a special event where they want to show this special movie at the drive-in from this director, Alice Kelly, who, I’ve forgotten since reading the book, I think she had this cult following or something. She was famed either way, before becoming a recluse. Still, Alice as a character slayed. Big fan of her honestly.

And to keep on the character track for a second, this book did a good job in making the characters’ interests an actual relevant part of the story. Back when I made my post for Milo and Marcos at the End of the World, I complained about Milo enjoying art being mentioned and it barely being relevant. In Never Been Kissed, however, Derick has a passion for photography, and it’s something that is actually present and relevant throughout the book. It's not just something that is mentioned and never brought up again (granted, not every interest a character has needs to be ever-present, but when it’s something that’s so specific, it kind of should be), it’s something that actually makes a difference. Same for Wren’s love for film, it was something that was central to the whole plot.

Overall, this book was cute, and I very much enjoyed it. Genuinely, I think my only complaints were those couple of times near the beginning of the book that had “hello, fellow kids” vibes. It was also one of those that, because of the book’s format, it sometimes felt like there were a lot of words on the pages and I wasn’t always moving through it that quickly, however, towards the end, I could feel everything wrapping itself up, if that makes sense? I know that a stupid thing to say since it’s something books do, but I could tell that the plotlines were wrapping, and I got a good sense of closure by the end of the book. I think everything that happened was correct, should have happened, and was right to happen, like I didn’t feel like I needed anything more from the book was done. However, while I did enjoy it, it was never The Boulet Brothers Gagula, you know?

Okay, bye!